Madame Amanda is an adult baby nanny who often attracts clients who
ask for what some people might consider quite extreme requests, but she loves her
work.‘It’s not an occupation; it’s just my life. I get up in the morning have a crap
and a bath, feed the dog, take my gorgeous daughters to school, pay all the shitty
bills everyone has to pay and then get to be as dirty as I possibly can all day, and
I love it.’ Although she runs two dungeons, Amanda’s business success is probably
down to the fact she doesn’t consider her role as a mistress a chore. ’It’s not work
and they’re not tasks, it’s pure pleasure,’she says. ‘I like to feel the sexual
excitement in the room like a palpable beast; after all, if I didn’t get as turned on as
my clients, what’s the point in doing it? Every day is a bit like opening an advent
calendar and not knowing what’s inside. I believe you can take something positive
from every experience and learn something new every day. I get the chance to
indulge all my sexual fantasies and needs on a daily basis — now doesn’t that make
me a lucky girl?’ Amanda became a mistress due to personal interest rather than the
desire to make a fast buck.    

‘I have always had my own needs, which were not
exactly mainstream. From a very early age I
remember having this drive that I didn’t understand,
until I found a book in my parents’ room called
Tropic Of Cancer, which used to make my tummy
funny. I have always been turned on by things that
I just knew my friends wouldn’t understand,so when
I eventually got sick of looking for what I needed
and not finding it, I did it myself. No one wants to
feel condescended to. And it’s a fantastic way to
meet people who are into what I’m into.’ Although
she is a professional mistress, Amanda shies away
from the cliched leather clad dominatrix persona. ‘I am a sexually abusing mummy
to my babies but don’t call me a pro domme, because I fucking hate the
stereotypical names mistresses give themselves,like “goddess” etc. I am a
normal woman with what the average person would call unusual dominant sexual
needs.’ Amanda sees lots of adult babies,who engage in AB play for various reasons.
‘A lot of my babies are incredibly powerful men who, in their normal lives, make
life altering decisions every day, so for some it’s about needing to step out of the
loop and feel helpless, for others it’s about being humiliated or sexually abused
and not being judged. I have one titled client whose nanny used to put him into
bed with his old nappy as a comforter and he just likes to go in the cot and hum
while he sucks on it.’ She continues, ‘I have another whose mum died when he
was very young and his dad couldn’t cope and put him into care so he needs to
feel the love he missed as a small boy, so there are literally 1001 reasons for
being an AB. And Amanda is very diplomatic about the reasons why someone
would choose to be an adult baby. ‘Do you feel any different inside now to
when you were, say 15? Because I don’t. We all have a child inside us. I see
loads of babies and every one is different. I love them all; in fact, some have
become good friends and have met my family and come to my home. Many
of the babies who visit her engage in AB play for sexual purposes, as she
explained. ‘Some babies do like to be little satin sissy girls, others just like
to wear nappies and soil them, but there is a more sexual side, too. I prefer
not to call it the darker side — that makes it sounds like a fucking horror film
and it’s not a darker side. The world in general wants to orgasm (although I
must confess I don’t let some little sissies come; they get put into chastity).
As a rule we all want to feel abandonment. I do encourage cocksucking
(with a condom) in my nursery. Some little sissies need to feel dick in their
face and I love making them do it.’ And some of her clients have quite
extreme requests, which Amanda is happy to fulfil. ‘I have babies who want
to be raped. I know that’s not a politically correct word, but you did ask for
the truth. I also have women clients who are girl babies who want bisexual
contact and as I’m bisexual I can assure you it’s a pleasure. They like to have
their legs spread while nanny fingers and dildos them while they are breastfed,
but women generally find it very hard to open up and express themselves and
find someone to trust. I know that from past experience. As Amanda has a
personal policy about not discriminating against any of her clients, she often
sees people other mistresses have turned away. ’I get clients who ring me
with a real downer on themselves and ask me, “Will you see me because I’m
disabled and I went to a mistress who laughed at me and turned me away?”
or, “I’m old, I’m fat, I’ve had a colostomy, I have trouble orgasming but I
still enjoy the scene,” and on and on. So fucking what! I wish people were
not made to feel so bad about themselves. You don’t have to be young and
gorgeous to have a fetish. Be proud of who you are; it’s what’s inside that
counts. My oldest client is 92 and he’s just fab. I’m fat and kinky and my clients
love my big fat arse. One of my clients says I’m his Rubenesque torturer and
writes me poetry, so I am most definitely not perfect, but I get no complaints.
’Although she is prepared to fulfil some fairly risque requests, Amanda still has
her limits. ‘I’m afraid I have never been good at drawing lines; the only rule I
won’t break is that nothing that happens between my clients and me affects
either their families or their careers any way. I’ve also been asked to help
someone commit suicide and cut someone’s balls off. I hasten to add I did
neither.’ Fortunately, Amanda’s partner is very supportive of her work.
‘He accepts me for who I am and I have never hid my kinks from him.
My mother-in-law has always called it “that business of yours” and almost
had a nervous breakdown when she found out. She was madly concerned
that her son was a transvestite and that I had perverted him.He isn’t, but I
wouldn’t give a toss if he was. ’But Amanda offers an extremely discreet
service and is very loyal to her clients, because she understands that not
everyone in the world is as open-minded as she is. ‘I do I have several
high profile clients but they come to me because they know I would cut
out my tongue beforeI would disclose them. When someone comes to me
they leave celebrity at the door. I don’t like divas and I am not in awe of
anyone. We all do poopy-doops and we all die in the end.’

Emma-Jane, a male adult baby,was attracted to the concept of feeling like
an innocent baby long before he knew that adult baby play existed as a fetish.
‘I have wanted to be a baby again for as long as I can remember. I was
delighted to find the service was available, but the yearnings were there long,
long before I found anywhere to express it. People are drawn to AB play
for various reasons,but for Emma-Jane it was related to divesting himself
of all control and works as an antidote to his home and work life. ‘Partly
it’s the lack of responsibility and worry that appeals to me, but partly it’s
the sheer helplessness and lack of control. I like to be forced to behave
like a very little girl, which removes the guilt. I love not having any control
and not knowing what will happen next. Another major part of it is being
able to do taboo things like mess a nappy, or to be publicly displayed dressed
and behaving like a baby girl. The public reaction to seeing an adult baby on
reins paraded down the sea front by nanny has to be priceless. ‘For many it’s
about a break from responsibility, or worldly cares,’ relationship, real or
imagined. For others it is the ultimate loss of power and humiliation. Of
course for some it’s all three. Many adult babies actually choose not to
engage in sex whilst in the baby role, since this isn’t characteristic of a
small child.

he adds. ‘For others it is about recapturing
a sense of belonging and a maternal ‘Some
adult babies just want to play baby, and some
really want to be babies. Others want to be
punished, or humiliated. It doesn’t always
involve tasks of a sexual nature. Sometimes I just
want to play with my dollies, or dress up or play
games. It very much depends on the individual.’
For many, AB play is incorporated as part of a
sexual game. ‘I particularly enjoy public humiliation,
going out dressed as a baby in a pram or on reins
and being taken to the park or the shops. I really
enjoy wetting and messing my nappy,being given
enemas, changed and being pissed on…
I would like to be to be made up to be really pretty then have to suck a man off,
whilst another pulls down my nappy and panties and takes me in the arse.’
AB play has links to BDSM and some people who participate do take it several
steps further. ‘It can get quite extreme, such as being made to suck my mummy
Amanda’s fresh bloody tampons and eat her nanny’s shit, as was being taken to
a tattooist by mummy Amanda and permanently tattooed and pierced and then
being photographed outside in the street. I would like to be permanently chastised
(after all babies, don’t have sex). I would not have unprotected sex, though, or
perform watersports with a stranger.’ But Emma-Jane maintains that it is always
carried out between consenting adults and we should think before we judge
them. ‘I have never dared to tell any previous girlfriends. I have told some very
close friends, who were fairly understanding about it, but I would not tell my
family. Most of them are quite conventional. It would be good if there was more
tolerance of adult babies and other minorities; sometimes the scene is as bigoted,
if not more so, than mainstream society. This would enable fewer individuals and
companies to provide a crap service at high prices, just because they think no
one dares risk the publicity of making a complaint. Hopefully we can move
towards more tolerance of minorities like adult babies in the way that TVs are
now almost mainstream.’ Due in part to the negative connotations associated
with AB play, Emma-Jane is diplomatic about his unique fetish. ‘To anyone
considering engaging in adult baby play, I would say try it by all means, but
don’t take it seriously unless you are fairly sure it’s what you really want.
It can be an expensive and much misunderstood.

Laura, a female adult baby, discovered AB play when she first started
experimenting with her sexuality. I became obsessed with other women’s
breasts after I realised I was a bisexual. Then I suddenly found myself
wanting to be breastfed and coddled like a pretty little baby. It was a
revelation that struck me after I accepted that I was bisexual. I was
just suddenly hit by the overwhelming urge to be breast fed. My boyfriend
understood completely and spent the whole weekend searching every website
he could find for a nanny who would breastfeed me. I made an appointment
with Madam Amanda, and I haven’t looked back since.’ The lifestyle appeals
to her for various reasons.‘There are two sides to my AB sexuality. One side
is very passive and longs to be pampered and coddled whilst the other yearns
to be bullied and abused, so the best thing's that Madam Amanda can abuse
me after my loving nanny has tucked me into my cot.’ She continues, ‘I love
being rocked in my nanny’s arms as I suckle her nipple. I suppose that it’s that
part of us that wants to be a baby again, to let mummy cuddle us and sing us a
lullaby. The soothing voice and the rocking and the sweet, loving kisses have
always been a real turn on for me. But at the same time, I also love it when
Madam Amanda is cruel to me.’ For Laura, adult baby play is extremely
sexually arousing. ‘The moment I become an adult baby then I just can’t
stop touching my pussy. I love being sexually abused by my nanny Amanda.
And even when I’m wearing a nappy, I just rub myself from the outside.
My favourite aspect of baby play is breastfeeding.’ Laura argues that the
reason people choose to experiment with AB play is because it’s the ultimate
form of submission. ‘As a baby, you have absolutely no control and your nanny’s
completely in charge. If she decides that you’re a good girl/boy, then you can curl
up in your nanny’s lap as she sings you a lullaby. But if you’re feeling hungry and
thirsty, you have to wait ’til nanny spoon feeds you and gives you a bottle. You’re
not even potty trained any more.’ But the main appeal for her is the vulnerability of
her position as a baby.

The feeling of total submission and helplessness
is a real turn-on for me, knowing that nanny can
do anything to me and that I can’t do anything but
cry. Because she’s the “cruel” nanny, Madam Amanda is the one who really abuses
me. She sexually molests me in my crib (with my full consent), forces me to drink
until I can’t help wetting my nappy and leaves me tied up and blindfolded.’But on
the whole, Laura’s adult play is fairly vanilla. ‘I don’t like extreme. I’m a sweet
and helpless little baby. I draw the line at excessive pain, blood, etc, but a loving
spanking is okay.’ Although she’s lucky that her partner is very accepting, like
most adult babies Laura still has to be discreet about her fetish. ‘My boyfriend
is incredibly understanding. He was the one who first helped me to accept the
fact that I’m bisexual, encouraged me to explore my desire and found
Madam Amanda for me as well. I am never open about this with my family and
friends, though. I’m sorry to say that my family are intolerant bigots and so the
thought of me being breastfed by another woman would make their heads explode.’
Laura hopes that society will eventually become more understanding of her unique
fetish. ‘I’d like to see less categorisation and labeling,’ she says. ‘Submissive does
not just mean humiliation and pain. Hopefully, more people will become willing to
step forward and say what they want, what they like and stop being told that they
must want to soil themselves because they like wearing nappies, etc. If you want to
try AB play, you should figure out what you want and find the nanny/carer who’s
right for you. I wanted to be breast fed, so there was no point going to see nannies
who refused to do it.’ Arguably the best way to approach AB play, or life for that
matter, was put most succinctly of all  by Madame Amanda. ‘Don’t be ashamed to
ask for and expect what you want and have a fantastic time. My personal rules are
always put out what you want back, so don’t treat people like shit or you might just
get it back, and live life lustfully and to the full because this isn’t a rehearsal and
you’re a longtime dead.’

To any wannabe babies looking for the ultimate nanny to nurse your alternative
desires, go to www.amandom.com

Profile Questions – Madame Amanda

(Q) How did you become a mistress and get into adult baby play?

(A) I suppose because I have always had my own needs which
were not exactly mainstream. From a very early age I remember
having this drive that I didn’t understand until I found a book in
my parents room called tropic of cancer which used to make my
tummy funny and then one summer afternoon I just wandered into
the bathroom when I was about 9 and everyone was in the garden
and instinct took over and I straddled the bath and had my first orgasm.
As I got older I always got turned on by things that I just knew my
friends wouldn’t understand, so when I eventually got sick of looking
for what I needed and not finding It, I did it myself. No one wants to
feel condescended to. And it’s a fantastic way to meet people that
are into what I’m into.

(Q) Are you a nanny or a pro dome, or an all round mistress,
what do you call yourself?

(A) I am a sexually abusing mummy to my baby’s and as long as
you don’t call me a pro-domme because I fucking hate the
stereotypical names mistresses give themselves like goddess etc.
I am a normal woman with what the average person would call unusual
dominant sexual needs, so call me anything you like.

(Q) Is it a full-time, 24-hour occupation?

(A) It’s not an occupation it’s just my life like you have a life

(Q) How does it work? Please explain…

(A) How does anyone’s life work, I get up in the morning have a crap
and a bath, pay all the shitty bills everyone has to pay and then get to
be as dirty as I possibly can all day and I love it.

(Q) Do you have a dungeon in your home? And a playroom?

(A) Yes I do but it’s in a separate building on the property and it’s only
for personal use party’s etc.

(Q) Why do you think people would want to engage in adult baby play
and pretend to be infants?

(A) Well are they pretending, let me ask you a question, do you feel any
different inside now to when you were say 15? Because I don’t. I see
loads of baby’s and every one is different. I love them all, in fact some
have become good friends and have met my family and come to my
home. We all have a child inside us, do you cry when you’re sad? Of
course you do. A lot of my baby’s are incredibly powerful men who in their
normal lives make life altering decisions every day, so for some its about
needing to step out of the loop and feel helpless, for others its about being
humiliated or sexually abused and not being judged. I have one titled client
who’s nanny used to put him into bed with his old nappy as a comforter
and he just likes to go in the cot and hum while he sucks on it. I have another
whose mum died when he was very young and his dad couldn’t cope
and put him into care so he needs to feel the love he missed as a small boy
so thereare literally a thousand and one reasons for being an AB

(Q) Is it about dressing up as babies and wearing nappies, or is there a
darker side to it? Please explain…

(A) Yes some baby’s do like to be little satin sissy girls others just like to
wear nappy’s and soil them. But there is a more sexual side too. I prefer
not to call it the darker side it sounds like a fucking horror film and its not
a darker side. Let me ask you another question as I’m being honest with
you, I bet you cum when you have sex and I bet you have a sly wank, the
world in general wants to orgasm (although I must confess I don’t let some
little sissy’s cum, they get put into chastity) but as a rule we all want to feel
abandonment and yes I do encourage cock sucking(with condom) in my
nursery. Some little sissy’s need to feel dick in their face and yes I love
making them do it. I have baby’s who want to be raped (I know that’s not
a politically correct word) but you did ask for the truth. I also have women
clients who are girl baby’s who want Bi-sexual contact and as I’m Bi-sexual
I can assure you it’s a pleasure. They like to have their legs spread while
nanny fingers and Dildo’s them while they are breast fed but women find it
very hard to be open up and express themselves and find someone to trust.
I know that from past experience.

(Q) Does your work always involve tasks of a sexual nature?

(A) It’s not work and they’re not tasks its pure pleasure. And yes I like to feel
the sexual excitement in the room like a palpable beast, after all if I didn’t get
as turned on as my clients what’s the point in doing it.

(Q) Do you enjoy your work

(A) It’s not work I wouldn’t have the neck to call it that, a Road sweeper,
a fireman, a factory worker, you know jobs like that are hard work, they
deserve the credit for being hard working not me. I get the chance to
indulge all my sexual fantasy’s and needs on a daily basis, now doesn’t
that make me a lucky girl.

(Q) What’s your favourite aspect of the job?

(A) It’s not a job, it’s fantastic and as I love new things every days a bit
like opening an advent calendar and not knowing what’s inside .

(Q) And your least?

(A) Nothing I believe you can take something positive from every
experience and learn something new every day

(Q) Do you have a partner, and if so how do they feel about your job?

(A) Yes I do and he accepts me for who I am and I must admit I never
hid my kinks from him. I remember the very first, he was very horny he
just moaned a bit but accepted it. After I told him I had lied and we would
have to stop at a shop the next day I made him come in but told him I’d
pay he stood with his fists in his pockets he’s a big guy and his face was
red with embarrassment. When we got to the till I put the nail polish on the
counter and left him there to pay, it was hilarious to watch him through the
window pull out these huge hands with bright red nails to pay the guy
behind the counter who really couldn’t take his eyes off his hands.

(Q) Are you open about your chosen career and do your family and friends
all know about your work?

(A) Sadly I lost both my parents many years ago but I do have a brother who
is the exact opposite to me and while I love him dearly he has never approved
or understood me or who I am . My mother in law has always called it “
“THAT BUSINESS OF YOURS” and almost had a nervous breakdown when
she found out, she was madly concerned that her son was a transvestite and
that I had perverted him as it happens he isn’t but I wouldn’t give a toss if he was.

(Q) Do you have a motto?

(A) Well I don’t have motto but I have two little rules

Always put out what you want back, so don’t treat people like shit or you might
just get it back and Live life lustfully and to the full, because this isn’t a rehearsal
and you’re a long time dead.

(Q) Who do you admire within the industry/who are your icons?

(A) OK I don’t know anyone well enough in the industry as you call it to admire them
but I am sure they are all fantastic and I don’t have an icon but Cynthia Payne  and
Lindi St Clair had the balls to be themselves so I would probably have liked to meet
them and have a good long chat.

(Q) Do you have any unfulfilled ambitions and if so what are they?

(A) Now wouldn’t that be telling and if I did tell I don’t think you could print them

(Q) What would you like to see more of within the BDSM/alternative sexual scene?

(A) Truth and not so much self promoting bullshit and more people doing what they
promise.

(Q) And less of?

(A) People within what you call the industry promoting the beautiful theory. You know
I get clients who ring me with a real downer on themselves and ask. Will you see me
because? I’m disabled and I went to a mistress who laughed at me and turned me
away. I’m old, I’m fat, I’ve had a colostomy, I have trouble orgasming but I still enjoy
the scene. And on and on, so fucking what, my wish is that people were not made to
feel so bad about themselves, you don’t have to be young and gorgeous to have a
fetish, be proud of who you are it’s what’s inside that counts. My oldest client is 92
and he’s just fab, I’m fat and kinky and my clients love my big fat arse. One of my
clients says I’m his rubenesque torturer and writes me poetry so I am most defiantly
not perfect but I get no complaints.

(Q) What’s the most extreme thing you have ever been asked to do?

(A) Help someone commit suicide and cut someone’s balls off, I hasten to add I did
neither

(Q) What’s the most extreme thing you would like to do, but haven’t yet?

(A) I don’t think of anything I want to do as extreme

(Q) Have you had any requests you consider too extreme? Where do you draw the
line?

(A) Only the two I’ve already said and I’m afraid I have never been good at drawing
lines the only rule I won’t break is that nothing that happens between my clients and
I affects either their families or their careers in any way.

(Q) Where do you see fetish/alternative sexual trends moving in the future?

(A) Who knows, I don’t

(Q) Without naming names, do you have any high profile clients?

(A) Yes I do I have several but they come to me because they know I would cut out my
tongue before I would disclose them

(Q) If you could choose anyone, which celebrity or high profile figure would you love to
work with?

(A) When someone comes to me they leave celebrity at the door. I don’t like divas and I
am not in awe of anyone, we all do poopy doops and we all die in the end.

(Q) Do you plan to work in this field forever, or will you one day settle down by the
seaside?

(A) No I would die of boredom, it’s in my blood so unless my fanny shrivels up I intend
to be a debauched old lady corrupting young men.

(Q) What advice would you give to anyone considering engaging in adult baby play?

(A) Don’t be ashamed to ask for and expect what you want and have a fantastic time.